A letter for Mr Robert Pattinson

Dear Mr Pattinson,

As I’m sure you get a lot of hate and fan mail, sincerely I can assure you this is not an attack on you anyway. I understand that you’re a young man trying to navigate the world in the best way you can.

I would however like to call your attention to a couple of items and offer you a challenging prospect.

In a recent article on the BBC, linked here, you said that “money is not real to anybody…in reality”. Now, I appreciate that this was said in an interview in a relatively offhand manner in the context of discussing Cosmopolis however I’d urge you to think on that statement a little more seriously.

My first points is this: if we are to accept that money is an abstract notion that we use – and that some people have lots of this usable notion and others have little of it – then money is very real. It is also at the heart of the system that the West lives in.

A brief aside that provides some context is: I’m a Cronenburg fan. I’ve stated so on this blog and on any site that will let me. I think that a good proportion of his works are about: questioning the way in which we receive/interact/experience both art and phenomena in life; as well as visceral understandings of existential quandaries/corruptions.

My second clear point then, is: I’d argue that whatever Cronenburg does, he inspects the elements of it with these in mind.

Considering that your character is a banker in Cosmopolis, it’s definitely arguable that your director has to have thought a lot about the affect of money on an existential level.

Whether or not Cosmopolis is about money, money has not lost its impact.

It would do you well to remember that. Perhaps those in your milieu have lost an understanding of money but the other 90% of the world hasn’t.

So, in order to give you a definitive understanding of this, here’s my challenge: swap places with me.

Let’s try the old Prince and the Pauper device shall we? I look nothing like you but I’m sure that I could spend a month doing your admin and you could spend a month living as I live.

There would be only 2 rules: you have to do everything my family asks of you [as I do]; and you have to live with spending no more than £20 a month [as I currently do]. Rent and food would be provided and you could set the limit of my spending in your life from your bank account, should you so wish.

You’ll probably never read this as I hurl it into the emptiness of Promethean space that is The Internet but please, for anyone of your possible fans and/or assistants that does, try to encourage Mr Pattinson toward an understanding of money. It’d be good to have you integrated back into humanity and less vampiric.

Yours sincerely,
Ben Gwalchmai

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