Red vs. Blue

Not a commentary on the long running debate, ‘Which Hulk is better?’ but instead, of course, a theory on Doctor Who:

When sporting a red bow-tie & braces, he seems to be an entirely different man from when wearing a blue bow-tie & braces – the former dislikes apples, the latter relishes them; the red hates rubix cubes, the blue solves them easily


either – a) Two Doctors (of the same age and from the same universe) have existed for sometime – probably a ganger made stabl by the TARDIS – and they’ve been sharing their adventure time between them

or b) we have another example of The Doppler Effect in action, as we did last season [where red equals moving forward in time and blue equals backward.]

‘How would two doctors go unnoticed?’ You might ask – well, there are several possibilities: one of which has been placed somewhere to enjoy life on-planet while they switch every so often; one of them could have been put to sleep for 100 years somewhere safe; or, simply, due to one possibly being a ganger there wouldn’t necessarily be a [paradox] problem with both being in the TARDIS at all times and simply tagging in and out per adventure.

So that’s all possible for Saturday’s episode HOWEVER, Mark Gatiss‘ entry on the IMDB entry for The Wedding of River Song has been changed from Fenric to Gantok after much net furor…could the net have called it on Fenric and the good Beeb had to ask IMDB to change it?

My word, I. Cannot. Wait. For tomorrow!


“It’s about time.” – Doctor Who, Series 6, Episode 4

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“What makes you think I’d ever give you up?”

I cried first time and, having just re-watched it, I cried my freakin’ eyeballs out. I’ve only just finished crying.

Matt Smith really pulled it out of the bag and I think Suranne Jones did too – her tears as she said one of the two things we all want to say to those we’ve lived with in our heads forever made me cry even more. Oddly enough, the Doctor almost uttered the other when he wanted to be forgiven by the other Timelords.

My only problem with it is the problem I have with most of the Moffat-led – that is to say, the direction and editing. Everything felt a little too quick: don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that there’s a lot to get in but The Doctor was given about 10 seconds of grief after losing the only person, entity, thing that has stuck by his side since he was young – he lost communication with the only constant companion he’s ever had – and they gave him merely 10 seconds of grieving. Were I Matt Smith, I would have asked if The Doctor could either have some time alone or at least a longer cinematic significance of time passing – were I The Doctor, I would have needed a bloody long walk.

That and the fact that some of Rory and Amy’s lines were hackneyed – ‘…they come for me in the night and they HUUUUURRRRTTT MEEeeeeeee”.

Saying that, the relatively simple conceit of anthropomorphizing the TARDIS was an effective device and there were some beautifully touching, tender, well-delivered lines, weren’t there?

“I think that all of my sisters are dead…”

I have to admit, I was completely overwhelmed by it – as soon as they’d got back on board the TARDIS, I knew that the Doctor would trick their way back to the control room and she’d die thus releasing the TARDIS soul, etc but I…I was defenseless – I think it was after they had their first major chat where The Doctor said “I said you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen” and a look came over Smith’s face like seeing an old love when your heart skips a little, your throat tightens whether you want it to or not and your breath becomes a little shorter. From that point on, I was enamoured with the idea of the two of them and the more time we spent when they were ‘Only when we’re alone…’, the more I empathised.

It was this exchange which kicked me in the gut really hard first:

“Since we’re talking, with mouths and all – you have never been very reliable -”
“And you have?”
“You didn’t always take me where I wanted to go -”
“NO but I did always take you where you needed to go”

On that needed, I welled up – it was as if that had always been what was meant to happen between the two of them: constant companions that could finally air their grievances now that they could see eye to eye…literally.

Thereafter I was a well of blubbing blubbery mummery – I welled up on “Oh my beautiful idiot, you have what you’ve always had. You’ve got me.”; I smiled and chuckled on “You’re doing it, you sexy thing!” “So you do call me that – is it my name?” “You bet it’s your name.”; I cheered when they entered the old Eccleston/Tennant control room [shame it couldn’t have been an even older one but ah well]; then my chest heaved when The Doctor said “Finish ‘im off, girl…” because he’s killed again – sure it was an entirely evil lifeform but it was sentient; then when she was about to die and they shared some of the strangest, most intimate lines I’ve ever seen Matt Smith deliver – on “I’ll always be here but this is when we talked.” I practically couldn’t breathe.

I had to pause the iPlayer. I needed a moment.

Damn you, Gaiman! You made me like you again.

“Doctor, do you have a room?”

He even scores geek-points: “Doctor, do you have a room?” [I’ve wondered this for ages. Do Timelords need sleep? Or is it simply that The Doctor alone doesn’t need to sleep for a while since he slept for a 100 years? Hmmm…]; “OK. The Eye of Orion or wherever we need to go.” This last one too made me cry because it leaves the uncertainty that maybe, just maybe, they’ll talk properly again – it also furthers the psychic link between The Doctor and the TARDIS; and then he whooped and jumped about like Peter Pan.

Ooooooohh, so much good stuff – you can tell that he’s been working on it for a good couple of years.

I’ll stop now…

and watch it again.